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Halloween and Anniversary on its way

Jul 31, 2006

I took the easy way out when I got married.  I got married on a high holiday, Halloween. 

We lived in Savannah, GA where halloween is second only to St Patrick's day, (when the costumes are more limited, but the drinks are even more pleantiful).

I dressed up like a burglar and my wife dressed up as a nurse, complete with fake plastic breasts that had squirt guns attached to the nipples.  As it was halloween, the squirt gun was filled with beer all night and men and women drank the nectar of life from my bride's breasts all night long.  Those were the days!

Well, our thirteenth aniversary is coming up, and I was thinking maybe this is the year that we dress up again. (Dressing up for Halloween has kind of been optional for us, since that time as it was kind of hard to top that experience.)

So I came across a place that offers up more modernized Halloween costumes - Sexy Costumes.

I don't know if my wife will again select a nurse's uniform this year, nor if I'll dress up as a burglar again . . . we'll have to see.  Maybe since I'm caught, my wife can opt for a police officer costume.

As we learned all that time ago, its important to get your costume figured out and setup early.

Halloween like marriage takes some preparation and forethought too!

Then again if you are single and looking to make a clean gettaway preparation is even more important.

First Anual World Strip Poker Championship

Jul 30, 2006

Mark your calendar on August 19th, the First anual World Strip Poker Championship will take place.

Winners will receive a golden fig leaf and 10,000 pounds (about $18k US). The concept started as an April Fool's Day joke, but spurred so much interest that the fooler became fool enough to launch the contest for real.

There is no word on whether cross over athletes such as Trinity Porter "Miss Nude Sydney 2005 and Miss DownUnder New South Wales 2006" will make her first forray into the Strip Poker Championship.

What I would do with a Windfall

Jul 29, 2006

There's a new show out called Windfall. I think its on NBC, but with cable packages and TiVo these days, it seems to get harder to keep track of the network name on a show.

The show tracks a group of friends and the impact of winning over $300m. Think 90211 with $300m to be fought and shared - it even has Luke Perry.

Personally, with a windfall, I'd look to acquire a beautiful but private area somewhere in the mountains or by a lake. I'm over cooked on the notion of living in urban areas jam packed with people. As I get older I'm trying to establish, maintain and reconnect with the people that are and have been important to my life. With a windfall of loot, this would be more difficult as more people might be hunting me for the wrong reasons, but at the end of the day part of what it takes to be happy is to have happy family and friends. Money can't buy happiness but it can help facillitate bringing people together and overcoming the financial obstacles of travel, maybe even jobs.

My dream has always been to create a foundation where I could work with the people important to me, something in common cause putting all the potential of my family and friends and myself to the best purpose. I guess that's pretty close to the description of an idealistic fantasy, but that's what I'd shoot to achieve.

I'd personally probably travel and take up the study of archaelogy and biomedical research. :)


Crappy Red Sox Memorabilia

Jul 28, 2006

An auction house, Leland's, is auctioning off a toilet that was located in the home dugout of Fenway Park in Boston.

It is expected that any and all big green monsters will be cleaned from the toilet before it is sold. . .

Touching Elephant Story

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with His hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen -- thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they are standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it's front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man. The man couldn't help
wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant...

Rockwell Automation Products

Jul 27, 2006

Rockwell Automation Products

What does George Bush have in Common with Lance Bass

Jul 26, 2006

Not much, but here's a funny picture of a pencil sharpener and if your looking for context check out the purpose of this post at ComedySoapBox.

Ship's Cargo not likely to Make it to Port

Jul 25, 2006

I keep hearing about this cargo ship, and was wondering what all the noise was about. it sounded like the ship was listing a little bit (kind of like that cruise ship on the east coast that had a turning problem). However, upon closer inspection (looking at a picture) it would appear that this cargo ship is not doing so well, in fact some people might even think that it could sink, maybe, well possibly or something.

This is not so much listing to the side, its more like a ship that has fallen and can't get up!

Looking for a good pair of Dykes?

Jul 20, 2006

If you are looking for a good pair of dykes discussion, you've come to the right place!

Check out Chris Quimby's musings on the "Tool Fool" and for an extra kick see my comment adding that "Every Man needs a good pair of Dykes"

here's a little excerpt

'The last time you kids had my dykes, I found them left outside on the ground, wet, in the mud, spread wide open, so that they were almost locked open from rust and corrosion, I had to soak those dykes in oil for a week to get them to flex again. Go bring me my Dykes!'

Dykes Wire Cutters Chris Quimby ComedySoapBox

Jul 19, 2006

I'm still enthralled with

There's definitely something gratifying about their business model bringing advertisers and bloggers together with something that has more meaning and synergy than just a bot searching your blog looking for context and dumping some ad on your site.

Crazy Fish has Human Teeth

A Texas fisherman, Scott Curry, landed a 20lb fish on Buffalo Springs Lake.

That's a good sized fish by any standards, but the eye catching thing about this whopper is that the fish looks like it has human teeth!A Game Warden video taped the fish while it was still gasping through its gills.

You can check out hte video on the local news site Texas Man Catches Fish With Human-Like Teeth

Tight Rolled Pants are Good for the Environment

Jul 15, 2006

The 80's was known for its excess and greed, but did produce a trend that in retrospect was way ahead of its time. I'm referring to tight rolled pants.

Tight rolling pants required that a person wearing Bugle Boy jeans or Levi's 501 Blues or any stone washed jeans, would grab the cuff of their jeans and fold them over your lower leg just below the calf and above the ankle. Folding the excess jeans tight, you would then roll the pants up two folds to lock the cuff in place.

You could then wear the jeans with tight ankles all day long, unless your jeans were a little too short and you extended your legs too much. Then the fold lock might break and you'd have to stop and re-fold your jean cuffs kind of like re-tying your shoes (unless you had a pair of vans without shoe strings).

This was a very popular trend for quite some time and is largely though to be primarily responsible for the counter culture trend known as baggy pants that still lives today in some smaller towns across the US and on a few basketball courts where the shorts have grown in length all the way down to the ankle such that they almost look like pants, but I digress.

Tight rolled jeans are going to become a required fashion necessity. As out right war breaks out throughout the Middle East and as Oil takes its hike from $78 per barrel up to $120 per barrel(sure its possible, people said $50 a barrel was crazy a few years ago) and the price of gas goes up to $4 and then $5 per gallon. People are going to be forced to ride bikes to work. Its going to happen, just a matter of where people's tolerance is.

When you ride a bicycle, you can't have loose flapping jeans or pants flying in the breeze and getting caught up in your pedals or gears, ripping, causing accidents and getting grease all over your pre-worn, pre-damaged, pre-stained, and pre-torn jeans. So I predict that tight rolling pants will see a resurgence, especially as the final half of the 80's becomes the new 'retro cool' and people start adopting Flock of Seagulls type hair styles.

So start practicing at home today, and get ready to tight roll your jeans by Christmas!

Mystical Experience Valuation

Jul 14, 2006

What's the value of a mystical experience anyway?

Scientists have found in an experiment that surprises no one, that taking a drug ingredient known as Psilocybe Cubensis, the active component in Mushroom drugs, that the user will experience a mystical experience over 60% of time.

So what is the value of a mystical experience, does it assist people in understanding their place in the cosmos or in relation to their creator or creatress?

Does it help people get along better and fight less?

I think it could do any of these things for a number of people, but ultimately the real benefit is in showing a person the ability their body, mind and soul possesses to do, conceive and think more than what they do on a regular basis. It can demonstrate an ideal to strive for in normal life through normal means and give us a sense of compatibility and presence in the world.

Many religions offer various means of working towards and obtaining a mystical experience. Some use various chemicals, herbs, trances, dances, sleep and sensory deprivation, meditation, prayer and focus. Its all physical and mental movement towards an ideal and a connection.

For people that have experienced the mystic or come closer to the supernatural it can be a life changing event that helps them focus their concerns away from the fear sometimes associated with the afterlife and towards ways of making a good life here in the present.

Maybe if more people were treated in a way that relieved their anxiety and gave them a taste of the greater universe, they could get on with their lives and move past some of the childish bickering and squabbles that too often consume mankind.

My Florida Experience

Jul 9, 2006

I lived in Boca Raton for about 3 years. It was a wonderful experience. I lived just off the corner of A1A and Palmetto Parkway about 2 blocks from the beach. The beaches are fantastic, nice cool water, with lots of living creatures to watch and savor and enjoy.

South Florida in general is a beautiful area and my family and I thoroughly enjoyed living there for a couple years, maybe you could call us 'snow birds' on the extended plan.

We took 2 trips to Sea World in Orlando and 1 trip to Disney World. We stayed at the Ron Jovi in Orlando, basically it was a condo/hotel. It had its own little water park, and we took ourselves, my wife's parents and my wife's sister's family. Three families all staying in three connected condos and it worked out better than we could expect.

The kids (at that time all around the age of 3-6) had a great time swimming during the day, and we'd take excursion to the amusement parks every other day.

I'd definitely recommend Ron Jovi and Sea World especially. Disney World was great for the little kids, but its aging and there are lots of other amusement parks for the older kids. I can't wait to try out the Discovery park and maybe get a chance to swim with the dolphins!

Sometime I'll have to tell you about the trip my grandparents took. They spent the winter in their RV. We met them and went to SeaWorld. It was the highlight of their trip getting to take their great grand son to Sea World. (He referred to their RV as the Gym Bus, because his daycare had a converted school bus that drove in and taught gymnastics to the toddlers once a week.)

Vacationing Again

Jul 3, 2006

I'm going back on another vacation. Can't count the number of trips I've taken this year with both hands. I'll be back and at em full swing by mid July, rested up with more funny tales and crazy experiences bottled up than a grown man could drink while standing on his head.

Keep looking!

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