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John Lennon Visualizing Ball of Yarn

Mar 31, 2008

The Time: 1969

The Setting: Filming a movie of The Rolling Stones, The Who with

Special Guests: John Lennon, Eric Clapton and many other musicians

The Reason: Free Love, Rock N Roll, Sex, and strange color wheel tunics and matching hats

Enter the scene at the end of the concert. Mick Jagger (referred to as Michael in the movie) has just finished Sympathy for the Devil and the crowd goes wild (in a Hell's Angels aren't running security at this event kind of way).

Enter our Hero John Lennon, who had a great performance earlier in the movie backed up by Eric Clapton and Keith Richards.

Our Hero suddenly takes note of the ball of yarn passed from a member of the Jimmi Hendrix experience.

Why do you think he does that????

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Raining hard

Raining Hard, Or Hard Rain.

That image reminds me of a movie that flopped with two of my favorite actors, Morgan Freeman and Christian Slater.

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Spammer Policy?

I knew the graphic artist that came up with that ad campaign for the Aids Public Service Message. (…Mw/utt.php)

They recycled that image from a different campaign, rejected by a Beauty Salon offering Brazilian Wax Jobs. The client liked the image, but George W Bush made his infamous 'brazillion' comment about the time they were looking to go live with the campaign and they decided to delay.

Then their salon spiders were picked up by the INS and deported back to Brazil.

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Saddened by Obama's Disqualification in 2008

I realize many of you are or will be greatly saddened by Barack Obama's sudden disqualification from the Democratic Primary contest and the 2008 election, so I will tread lightly here.

It is true that I have not been a supporter of Barack Obama (I did not like any of the three candidates.) That said, I too was very surprised at the way that Barack Obama was disqualified after his stunningly poor showing in Altoona Pennsylvania this weekend.

Not too many people are aware of the Intelligence requirements that Presidents must pass in order to qualify for the level of intelligence clearance that is required to run the Oval Office and take charge of the US Nuclear arsenal. As a former member of the intelligence community, I was aware of these requirements.

That said, I had no idea that Obama would fail so completely.

I needed to understand how anyone could have such a poor showing on what seems like an arbitrary test (the likes of which I haven't seen since high school when natural acne treatments were still rumored to work), so I did some digging and put together some information that puts this into more context both for my own enlightenment and it might possibly help you as well.

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Mobile Blogging From My Own House

Mar 30, 2008

Good morning Everyone!

Today, I'm writing in on the road. I'm mobile blogging from my own house. Actually, its my old (second) house now in Atlanta. I drove down from Charlotte last night with my son to get some paperwork so that I can finish up my taxes for the year and to get some things from the house that we have been missing since our last visit here back in January or so.

Its weird living in two places these days. So when I got to the 'house' I had to go into mobile blogging mode as we do not have cable turned on here. So that meant it was air card time and so here I am.

Talk to you soon!

PS sorry about the right turned picture ;)

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Beer in the Office on Friday

Mar 28, 2008

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Beer in the Office on Friday

Office Policy 34-213-23

Alcohol, defined as beer, wine and hard alcohol but not champagne, will be allowed in the office workplace on Friday. after 11:30 am.

Alcohol will also be allowed in the work place on any day in which the office refrigerator is not stocked with Coke Zero.

Finally, alcohol will be mandatory on any day in which work servers are down for more than two hours.

Today, must be a tripple witching day for me as I am experiencing all three conditions enabling me to have a beer in the office.

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french friday 1

Here's one of my favorite French tracks (well its almost French visavi Chicago where House Music was invented (sorry NYC)) The artist has an almost French sounding name Lil Louis and this track is titled French Kiss.

This came out before ecstasy really hit(big in texas with stock brokers but hadn't really hit the dance scene too much yet, a year or two off), which is surprising a bit given the orgasm at about the 5 minute mark.

wikipedia on Lil Louis…/Lil_Louis

Source of video by Housemasters…useMasterz

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Versions of Billy Jean Compare-Music Palette


Here's my response meant to mostly focus on the concept of developing an eclectic musical palette enabling acceptance of music.

~samples from NIN's Ghosts 5.1, 19.2, 10.2 and 2.1 in reverse order

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Homophobia Correlation to Chin Size

Mar 27, 2008

(This post is in response to a recent mini scandal involving Jay Leno's homophobic remarks.)

A number of studies have demonstrated that there is a distinct link between homophobia and chin size in men (no idea about women on this one).

Apparently, men that have latent to strong homosexual tendencies and have grown up in a sociological background that teaches them that homosexuality is bad, evil or abnormal or something come into conflict with their own feelings.

Some of those men resist the urge to find a sexual release in their fantasies via homosexual relationships, masturbation, heavy patting, whipping themselves on the back, becoming a priest in the Catholic church, joining the Republican party or becoming a televangelist in a baptist community. When they resist these urges, they often times resort to the practice of chin stroking.

Excessive chin stroking stimulates a number of biological processes (similar to human growth hormone) that can result in the growth and enlargement of the chin. This is a combination typically of hormones that are not released through normal fantasy relief processes and the physical overstimulation of the chin as a body part.

Those unused un-expelled hormones then have a direct impact on the Thyroid which is also getting stimulus messages from the stroking of the chin and that causes rapid growth.

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WooHoo ed by Unknown at 2:18 PM 0 Gabbles(comments) LinkyLove(some hate)  

How do these Versions of Billy Jean Compare?

Mar 26, 2008

I don't care about the voters myself, and care even less about who wins.

But sometimes along the way some interesting performances shake loose and even some decent artists.

Daughtry did essentially the same thing last year as well when he sang a version of 'I walk the Line' that had been modernized by Live.

I look at it from the perspective that these guys are there to be singers, not necessarily singer, song writers or composers etc.

Do we like to get the full package every now and then? Sure, but sometimes a great singer can team up with a great producer in the studio singing a song written by someone else.

Billy Jean was largely the work of Michael Jackson from the lyrics to the music and the base tracks, he even dubbed in his own background vocals. So that definitely says a lot about his talent.

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How do these Versions of Billy Jean Compare?

I really like all three versions of Billy Jean. Michael Jackson was possibly at the peak of his career when this came out. I still remember his Motown performance live.

Chris Cornell did a great job offering up a new arrangement and giving his own vocal skills some great play to revitalize the song, but I thought that David Cook did an even better job of taking Chris Cornell's version to a new level. (Kind of like that guy that did walking on the moon covering Sting and the Police on America's Got talent last year…-head.html )

So what do you think?

Do you like one over the other?

Do you like them all?

Do any of them just not work for you?

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Think Bigger and Be Bigger!

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Mother-In-Law down Under

My Wife's mother went down under last week to visit her son (my brother-in-law).  We received this video today, which I first viewed at the Doctor's office with my daughter, who has an ear infection.

The email that I originally received with the video link said that the animal in video was a kangaroo, but the video title says Wallaby.

What's the difference between a Wallaby and a kangaroo and which do you think this is in the video?


BTW - if you saw the video here titled "Where The Hell Are My People?" with Colby the Yellow Lab Basset, the answer is that his people are currently in Australia and one of them is apparently in the video above petting marsupials of unknown make and model.

WooHoo ed by Unknown at 3:42 PM 0 Gabbles(comments) LinkyLove(some hate)  

Happy Easter!

Mar 23, 2008

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Where The Hell Are My People? Translation Video

So we're dog sitting Colby and cat sitting two cats (Syd and Little) for about the next week and a half while my wife's parents are in Australia.

The thing is their pets do not really understand why 'their' people are not here nor where the hell they have gotten off too.

So each day I'm putting together a kind of video or picture diary with the pets thoughts on this situation.

I especially liked the way the slow motion dog translation tool turned out on this one.

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Out on the Lake in a Cayak

Today was the first day in about 5 months that I have been out on the lake in a cayak. That is partly because the water just came back and partly because it was cold not too long ago.

Regardless, I had a good time. Hoping to get some better pictures soon because the flowers and trees are just getting ready to start blooming.

At the end of this you'll see my 2 dog welcoming party.

Technical note - this video is about 38 mb and the largest I have tried to load up to Utterz yet (when paying attention). Curious to see how it works after the upload.

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Cat Sitting

Mar 22, 2008

We're watching my wife's parent's cats and dogs while they travel to Australia for a couple weeks. The animals really miss their people.

Syd the cat composed the poem in this picture and offered up a gift if her people will return.

You might notice that I put this under the food channel. That was per Syd the Cat's posting instructions. Syd's pallette is a little hardier than my own.

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stupid mom - Its not the Size but the Shape?!?

Mar 21, 2008

Yeah Luke Wilson definitely has a nose with a penile resemblence. When I dugg up the Slick Willy Wonker picture there was an image next to it, 4 pictures of Owen Wilson each contemplating the uh distinctness.

They guy has bigger problems that he's overcoming. If he survives those, hopefully he'll take a winter off and get a nose job or something, cause that thing is only going to grow in funnier as he ages.

He should maybe also consider going after whomever performed the circumcision on his nose.

Obviously they were drunk and went for the wrong end of the baby.

That said the image with this article provides a DIY circumcision tool for manly men, but I warn you, you better have good bathroom lighting and stain proof paint before you take on your fixer upper at home.

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stupid mom - Its not the Size but the Shape?!?

I think this lady is a whack job. I do not mean she is nuts, I mean she has apparently never grown up.

This is the type of thing that grade schoolers and teenagers might joke about possibly even ridicule each other about. That does not make it anything less than grade school immaturity.

If society had to remove every potential phallic symbol from the view of people trying to 'protect' other people's kids, we would have to tear down, knock down and destroy everything from American flag poles, to the Washington Monument, to Bill Clinton's nose.

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Utterz Bought My Kids Pizza-Had Lots left Over!

Mar 20, 2008

I won a $100 from Utterz last month and received my care package yesterday.

Thanks Utterz!

I took the kids out for Pizza and prepared the key chain Bessie's for their new duty patrolling my tub with my 2 year old. Its dangerous work for Bessie's but definitely important. Too many people down play the importance of tub toys, but for my daughter Mya, its the most important thing in the world (next to Scooby Doo and marching like an elephant on the Jungle Book).

She does like moo cows too. If I could some day become skilled enough at animation to create a moo cow marching scene and add it to the movie the Jungle Book, well let's just say that Daddy would be the favorite person in the whole world.

Until then, I guess I'll keep peddling travel insurance and using my money to pay for more courses, training, software and equipment to get there.

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I rarely channel my inner cat. If I did, my cat allergies would kick in.

However, this morning I noticed that Syd, the seven toed cat had a hankering to travel. Her lights were working just fine, but with gas prices here at $3.26 a gallon her tank was empty and she was going no where fast.

I have to warn you that Syd the cat is a vicious hunter, but she does like to stay warm at night. So it wouldn't surprise me a bit to see her break out a festool chainsaw to not only get a mouse out of a tree, but to cut up some firewood for the wood burning stove. I have a suspicion that seven toe cats are evolution in process and will ultimately be used like humans use opposable thumbs. Syd can almost hold things in her paws like we hold things in our hands.

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Politicians More Freeky than Average People?

Mar 17, 2008

Bird Taking Off - Man Eating Illinois Birds

Mar 16, 2008

Here is a picture that my wife snapped out of the van window. This bird, possibly an eagle but I'm not a bird person, was sitting with another large bird in a filed about 100 meters from my uncles old farm house in Metamora, IL.

The picture was taken about a year ago and was the first time I ever saw a bird of this size (wings span about 5-7 feet) in Illinois. (There are legends about gigantic birds in the area that have been documented like big foot legends on the West Coast, but I've never seen them and those legends talk of birds with wings spans of 15- 25 feet and Native American cave paintings of man eating birds near the river.

This is more likely a rabbit eating bird here and not a man eater.

I was emailing a copy of this picture along with several others to my cousin after digging them off my hard drive and thought I'd share them with everyone here. The more I look at this picture the more I like it, I think I might have the image made into a comforter sets for Christmas presents next year.

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How to download Utterz Audio & Video - tutorial

Mar 15, 2008

I put together this simple tutorial on how to download audio files or video files from Utterz.

Audio files can be downloaded as MP3 files and videos come in as .flv files. I personally then convert .flv (flash video files) into .avi or .wmv files so that I can edit them and mix them with other projects.

If you need a converter, here is a link to an article that has the tool that I use. It offers up a free trial offer in case you want to take it for a spin.…ree-trial/

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Be Safe This Weekend

Mar 14, 2008

The work week is almost over and just wanted to encourage everyone to be safe during St Pattie's day this year.

Drink the green beer, but don't let it get you into trouble. Stay safe and have lots of fun!

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OK, I really want to be able to download

what you can do is set up a private blog on any of the platforms and then 'share' the content to this blog and download it, this is what I was doing when creating all sorts of audio ransom notes when attempting to extort 7 dollars (in singles) from a former co-worker

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180 Degree View From My Office Fishing Dock

Its finally that time of year here in North Carolina and I'm working on getting into my regular office routine of working on the fishing dock. Today's actually my second day working by the dock of the bay (we call it a cove since it's a lake).

I thought I'd show off my mad-UN-photoshop skills and provide a 180 degree stitched together view of my view.

Just curious, but would like to ask the question to everyone

Where do you work? What's it look like? or

Where would you like to work?

Over the years, I've worked in an old cotton warehouse renovated into a 2 dollar whore house and then renovated into a bar, I've worked in tanks(a big cylinder)1 and in deserts and in tracked vehicles, I've worked in barns and high rise office buildings where the cafe was an Emeril's restaraunt.

I've never worked on a boat nor on a plane but I have worked in a tree house and on mountain tops.

So where have you worked, more importantly, where do you like to work, wish you worked etc.

I'm curious about work settings and not company names or what have you. Company names and jobs can come and go, but what about the location does it for you?

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What's Your Wii Age?

Mar 11, 2008

I was watching an interesting program on public television about the elasticity of the brain and new thoughts in how to keep your brain young and physically in shape.

As I was watching the show, it kept breaking for the public tv version of an infomercial. They try to sell elderly people a mental fitness video game and they accept payments in the form of donations. I%u2019m sure the game helps, but its still just a video game and its also still just an infomercial. I%u2019m not being critical of public television nor what they have to do to stay afloat, but I am calling it what it is.

Anyway after the show, or actually about three quarters of the way through the show, I let tivo do its thing and I went out to the barn to play Wii. (Yes we keep our Wii in a barn. When I was growing up chickens used to famously play electronic versions of tic tac do, so why not wii?)

I waited my turn in line for the Wii and just as soon as the pig beat the goat at bowling, it was my turn.

I strapped the wrist guard on and scrunched some rubber bands around my pant legs so that the barn mice wouldn%u2019t run up my leg while I was playing tennis. That wasn%u2019t the kind of %u2018wii-eeeee!%u2019 I wanted to play.

So anyway, I took a lesson out of the tv show and played several rounds of golf. Golf is not a sport I am good at in real life nor in the Wiinerverse and I was purposely trying to improve something that was outside of my comfort zone so that I could recondition some neurons and fire up some new synapsis and generally remap my brain like a hippy on peyote with an eye for getting laid.

I played three round at the beginners level, then 3 more at the intermediate, then 9 holes after that. By the time I got to 9 holes, I was holding my own with about 3 up until the 9th hole, when I lost it and started shanking the ball into the water over and over again trying to do an impossible shot like the scene in Tin Cup but without the sexy psychiatrist(Rene Russo) to jump me in a trailer after the match. That last hole put me at 15 or something (Wiinerds will catch my white lie right away.)

Then I went and played Tennis. In real life I like to play tennis, even though in real life I never get the chance any more. I played in high school until I was screwed over by my Tennis coach. It was a weird life lesson that I still face every now an then. The coach set the rules for advancement. I followed the rules, won and won and won and should of advanced, but was held back by the coach. So I told him to F off and stopped playing tennis competitively. He was fired a few years later for giving students one of the answers to a state placement test. I do not wish him any ill will, but I needed that type of authority figure as a teenager about as much as I needed another bipolar father.

So anyway, here I am in the barn playing tennis on the Wii with the pig and goat cooling off on the sidelines and a horse snorting its derision in the background.

Horses think everything about the Wii is funny as hell and will snort endlessly while anyone else plays, but put them up on Wii Play for a round of racing cows and they are fierce competitors. Horses don%u2019t like to lose races, and horses especially do not like to lose races when the horses race cows!

Now, I do not know how common it is for most people, but I like to play doubles Wii tennis against myself. This manifests in several ways. Sometimes I play against myself with a single paddle and sometimes I hold one in each hand. There I am (Brett) with my doubles Partner (Brett) getting ready to serve to my fierce opponent (Brett) and Brett%u2019s equally fierce and wickedly funny doubles partner (Brett).

I serve, its one of those super fast Ace like Wii serves. Brett amazingly returns the serve at lightening speed, and my doubles partner Brett just barely reacts and reaches out to hit Brett%u2019s return, but his reactions are a little off because I have just swung to serve and swung to return by reflex and Brett at the net is swinging not on purposes but because Brett the returning hitter is finishing up a swing, so Brett%u2019s return of the return at the net goes out of bounds!

I%u2019ve repeated that scenario about 3 times, and can only rarely return a return of an ace serve (velocity) and still keep it in.

So anyway, I play the four Brett%u2019s for about 20 minutes and do pretty well. The trick is to either get in the zone and hit the ball staring at just one side of the screen and interpreting which way to swing (forehand or backhand if the ball is going to the Brett%u2019s at the bottom of the screen are normal, but if the ball is going to the Brett%u2019s at the top of the screen, then forehands and backhands are actually reversed and so you have to swing in the inverse of a forehand or backhand immediately after you had to swing the forehand and the backhand the normal way. This is very tricky when the two Brett%u2019s at the net are going back and forth 5-6 times and none to easy either when Brett at the net is trying to work the ball from one corner of the backcourt to the other hoping to get Brett in the back court to get tired running back and forth and make a mistake.

After a while I get a little dizzy of this, but the pig and goat offer me some encouraging words and the goat points out that my form would be better if I would train my eyes to glance back and forth from the right screen to the left screen each time the ball goes up the court. This means that when the ball is on the right side I%u2019m swinging normal and when its on the left side I am also swinging normal. Maybe those slitty goat eyes figured this faster than my circular human eyes could (with or without cheap eyeglasses) or maybe it's the fact that goats are kind of like other herbivores a bit and are used to looking out the right and left side of their heads part of the time and not always straight ahead like us carnivore types.

Eventually, I realize that playing Wii tennis this way is not boosting my score at all, so I switch over to just 2 Brett%u2019s on one side of the court and play against the Computer at Wii scores of 2000 and 1900 respectively (I%u2019m holding at about 1590 these days playing about twice a month).

I play pretty well, but the first two games go to the computer. I%u2019m still in 4 Bretts mode and have to settle down a bit playing less reactively and more strategically against the computer. The first match of 3 games goes to the computer 2 to 1 and the next match of 5 games goes to me 3 to 2 and then the last to the computer 2 to 3.

Its about this point that I realize I%u2019m getting a little tired, so I figure I%u2019m past the warm up stage, its time to test my Wii fitness level. I quickly go sit over on the bench next to the cows. I take a couple squirts of warm milk, spit it into the cream bucket (I have no idea what I%u2019m talking about.) and towel off. I jump up, get ready to play and I start in with bowling.

Now, I like Wii bowling but not when I%u2019m playing solo. Bowling alone is too much like practice and about as fun as watching the chickens play baseball (they like to pitch but never swing. I have no idea why.)

So, my enthusiasm takes a hit right off the bat or should I saw lane. I get through the bowling thing, but not too well. Bowling is my sons sport and my mother%u2019s too for that matter but not mine. I can do it well, but not when I%u2019m tired or my attention span is weak.

I get through that and move on to the Tennis section returning balls. This one is pretty easy for me. I return all of them except one that barely hits the net. I could probably do just as well with real tennis balls, maybe better as I could use a real swing.

Then its on to the tennis section where you have to hit the target on a brick wall. This is one that I can definitely do much better in real life and I%u2019m still trying to master it in Wii tennis. In real life, I have a hell of a reach and good reactions and control. In Wii tennis I have no reach, good reactions and control that is not as accurate in real life as you can only judge direction by the placement of the ball and not by spin or angle of the hit.

This time I do fairly well, and only miss about 4 targets in total. Then my Wii age calculates and comes up as 25. That's actually about the best I have done on Wii age so far (27 being the previous best).

So to cut to the chase, I'm curious what is your Wii age?

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Spitzer-I'm Screwed or Valentines Day Hooker

Mar 10, 2008

I've always been pretty bad at names. Takes a lot of repetition and follow ups with people for me to get a name stuck in my head, and even then I can forget a name temporarily even if I have known the person my whole life.

That said, I just received this new Post-it-Note advertisement at the same time I received your reply.

It could be coincidence or it could be synchronicity. I guess it is what you make of it.

I suspect that if you wanted to get away with this technique, you'd probably have to pay a little extra. Then again, maybe the difference between a 3 diamond and a 7 diamond is such a great difference that you are sure to remember their names.

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How Do You Fight Sickness?

Mar 6, 2008

I have a nasty something or other that has slowed me down to a crawl like a truck driver in a traffic jam with no prepaid legal insurance or truck accident lawyer on speed dial just aching to open up the throttle and plow through traffic, but holding back for all the practical reasons.

That said, I have several friends that are fighting much tougher circumstances. I'm curious how you fight sickness.

Follow up, as it turned out, I had strep throat. My throat never hurt so it was a little difficult to diagnose. I ended up getting some antibiotics but felt like hell for several days as it just got worse and worse.

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Pink Toy Poodle w/ Leprechaun Balls

Mar 4, 2008

Its March, March 4th to be exact and that means St Pattie's day is just around the corner!

Do you celebrate St Pattie's Day?

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