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One more way to protect my home

Aug 29, 2006

So last week we had a break-in in the neighborhood. I printed up some flyers to pass around the subdivision of about 200 homes. I walked from house to house dropping off the flyers and talking to my neighbors letting them know what happened. We shared some ideas about how to keep the subdivision safe and our property values high.

Since this is Georgia maybe, the most popular idea was to keep a handgun close, but for myself I think lighting the place and neighborhood up is a better way to go. Street lamps can be rented from the electric company here for $13 per month.

One of the less known ways to protect your home is to purchase a gnome contingent. Few people realize that garden gnomesgarden gnomes are ten times more fierce than a pit bull and can bellow louder than a coon dog when a burglar enters your property.
So I looked around today for a properly fierce looking garden gnome.

Here were my top four picks:

This mean little bugger has some kind of burglar beating stick and he lights up the yard.

This gnome is some sort of spider-gnome cross bread that seems to be sliding down out of your trees like a gninja, and he's got a ferocious led lantern bomb for a weapon.

Then there is this giant gnome. He's like almost 3 feet tall and pushes a wheel barrow around with him to collected the feet that he severs off of burglars with his gnome teeth.

Finally, and this may be my favorite, this pair of gnomes hiding under a mushroom, may not look like much, be their giants too measuring in at 3 feet. That's not their thing though. What makes them very useful against burglars is that they have a flourescent sprinkler system built into the mushroom. You attach a garden hose and a gallon or more of flourescent fluid, and when a burglar trips a gnome motion detector device, it starts up and hoses the burglar down with fluorescent fluid, so that he can't be missed!

I even going to save a little dough on my gnome security system because I found the coupon code 'gnome-bloggers' for 10% off.

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WooHoo ed by Brett Bumeter at 1:40 PM  

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