I have a dream. It's not a grand dream, it's probably not even a great dream, it's actually a pretty selfish dream.

I have a dream that someday I will be oval to enter any establishment and not be forced to drink the god-awful water that they pour straight from a tap. 

Sure I know there are many products today that provide Portable Water Filters that can protect me from a Taco Bell water tap.  But I need something more, I need something with hops, something that creates a portable water-to-beer filter. 

No that would be useful.  You clean the water possibly even cold filter and distill and create a useful result, a beer!