This feed is from the NEW There's Something About Harry Website at Something-About-Harry.com
Nov 9, 2006
Some Marriage counselors are advising people to fess up to their spouses about their attraction to people outside of the relationship as a means of being open and honest and displacing some of the angst of not talking about it.
Here's the idea
Let's say you develop a work place attraction to a co-worker. You go home and tell your wife, 'Honey, I've been feeling a little attracted to Julie at work. I have even had a few fantasies about having an affair with her.'
So in a perfect world your wife is supposed to sit down with you and discuss it, and if the perfect world persists, having unloaded this off of your chest you'll be less likely to act on your impulses and you will develop a deeper level of trust with your wife.
It sounds nice and fluffy and could work for some relationships, possibly even my own, but I can't help but envision a few alternate scenarios.
"You what!? You Sack of (expletive Deletive)! Don't get near me, have you been having these fantasies while you're with me? oooooh !"
At the Christmas party later in the year, introducing your wife to Julie
"Oh, so you're Julie, I've heard all about you! Did you know that my husband was having fantasies about you three months ago when you two were working on that project? Yeah, he's such a lecher watch out for him. What? Oh, no I didn't realize that you worked in HR. hmmm"
Well here's what the experts say according to the WSJ
To Guard against damage from affairs, experts suggest couples:
- Acknowledge the risk of an affair occurring
- Discuss circumstances that might pose a risk
- Agree to talk about temptations before acting
- Disclose any affairs promptly
- Agree not to counterattack if a spouse strays
- Learn to ask, give and receive forgiveness
What do you think, would this really work????If not, maybe you should check out AshelyMadison.com where they specialize in connecting married men and women that want to have affairs with new partners. (30-40 years ago this was called Swinging Baby!)